We’ve all been there—caught in that moment of wanting intimacy but feeling held back by our period. One Reddit user recently shared their dilemma after hooking up with someone for the first time. The night was going great, sparks were flying, but when things escalated, they decided to leave because they didn’t feel comfortable having sex while on their period. They worried they had "ruined" things and were left wondering: Was this a mistake? Will they ever forgive me?
First off—let’s get one thing straight: you never have to apologize for your body’s natural cycle. Whether you embrace period sex or prefer to wait, it’s 100% your choice. But the fact that this is even a debate shows how much stigma still exists around menstruation and intimacy.
If you are interested... here's the reddit story that caught our Ruby Cup attention:
"I’ve hooked up with this guy who invited me to his home, the evening was easy and I guess everything was going well. My problem is that I’m on my period and so when we began to kiss I DID WANT MORE but had to say I was going home because I didn’t feel like having sex under these circumstances. I’m terribly sorry about this and I’m too afraid I ruined it. I don’t feel comfortable while bleeding, especially for a first time together. Have I done a terrible mistake? I can sense he was kinda disappointed and so was I – but hey, I was too embarrassed to stain all over the place. Big mistake?"
Awkward About Period Sex?
Despite progress in normalising periods, many people still feel embarrassed, uncomfortable, or even ashamed at the thought of being intimate while bleeding. Fears of mess, rejection, or awkwardness can hold people back—even when they want to be in the moment. But the truth is, period sex is totally normal, and for many, it can actually be a better experience.
👉 Studies suggest that orgasms can help relieve cramps and period discomfort. Interested? Read more here
👉 Increased blood flow can enhance sensitivity and pleasure.
With the right mindset (and maybe a towel!), it doesn’t have to be a big deal.
Yet, none of this changes the fact that if you don’t feel comfortable, that’s completely valid. The key? Open communication.
Navigating the "Not Tonight" Conversation
Back to our Reddit friend—was their decision a mistake? Absolutely not. If you don’t feel comfortable, there’s no obligation to push through just to please someone else. That said, if the situation made you feel bad or regretful, there are ways to handle it in the future:
💬 Be upfront – If you like the person, let them know you weren’t rejecting them, just that you didn’t feel up for period sex. A simple, "Hey, I really like you, but I just wasn’t feeling comfortable that night," can go a long way.
🔄 Give yourself grace – Whether you go for it or not, your comfort should always come first. If they’re the right person, they’ll understand.
What If You Do Want to Have Sex on Your Period?
So, you’re worried you’ve upset, confused, or disappointed this guy? Let’s clear this up right away—the right person will never let sex (or the lack of it) ruin a great evening together. Making someone wait is never a bad thing! The first time already comes with enough pressure, so it’s completely normal to wait until you feel like your best, most confident self.
That said, if you want to be intimate but are just worried about your period, there are options:
🩸 Period underwear – Throw on a pair of leak-proof period underwear. He won’t even know you’re wearing them, and they can help you feel more secure.
🗣 A simple pre-warning – If you're open to continuing, a casual, "Hey, just to let you know, if we go further, I’m on my period, but I’m happy to continue if you are," can take the pressure off.
🛁 Shower sex – If mess is a concern, taking it to the shower can be a fun and easy solution.
The Takeaway? No Right or Wrong Answer
At the end of the day, the only mistake is ignoring what feels right for you. Period sex can be empowering, fun, and totally normal—but it’s not for everyone, and that’s okay. The most important thing? Breaking the stigma so that everyone can make choices without shame or fear.
What’s your take on period sex? Have you ever been in an awkward situation like our Reddit friend?
